Directory of Lost Causes (By Quentin S. Crisp)

A, Like, Totally Unnecessary Announcement, Man

.... As D.R. out of D.R. & Quinch might have said.



Just as a sufferer from Tourette’s is unable to keep from uttering obscenities, so it seems I am unable to keep myself from mentioning, in this blog and elsewhere, the fact that I am a writer. I have the feeling it must sound terribly self-important, and I’m rather embarrassed about it. I’ve no idea why it should sound self-important, though. If, for instance, I simply mentioned the fact that I was a quantity surveyor, would that be self-important? (I’m not, by the way). It’s possible that in such an instance, because the role of quantity surveyor would represent my occupation, it would seem less like information I had simply volunteered. We are, after all, defined by what people pay us money to do. However, if we examine the question further and look at people’s hobbies, it still wouldn’t sound self-important to describe oneself as an ornithologist or a philatelist, even though people are rarely paid for these activities. So why on Earth should it sound self-important for me to describe myself as a writer? Is it just me, or is there some cultural reason for this?

Anyway, since I have been using this blog partly to promote myself as, ahem, A Writer (pauses to polish fingernails on lapel), I suppose I shouldn’t really feel embarrassed about it. I say ‘partly’; I also use this blog as a means of relaxing and releasing stress, much in the manner that you might keep a scrapbook. Because of this second motive in the keeping of this blog, I think I have tended to be slap-dash in the way I make my entries. There is also the problem of time. I tend to toss these entries off left-handedly and slap them up on the Internet without so much as a proofread. However, if I am going to give myself out as… A Writer, I think I need to sharpen up my act a bit, and at least iron out speeeeling mistooks and errors in the grammars and so on before I let these little doodlings see the light of day. I do think it makes a difference. Just look at Momus’ blog, or that of Jonathon Delacour. Not a typo in sight. Damn, I admire that!

Furthermore, since, like Ignatius J. Reilly before me, I am now a working boy, and engaged in the noble calling of copy-editing to earn my living, it at least behoves me to copy-edit my own blasted blog. What kind of message am I sending out if I don’t?

All this is to say that, from now on, I intend to be a little more careful about what I post, which means in turn that, yes, my additions to the Directory of Lost Causes shall be subject to further delays. Bear with me, gentle reader. I shall also be trying to edit out the typos, dead links and so on in archived posts when I get the time, which may be never.

And to celebrate my newfound spirit of self-promotion, I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea to post a link here to a recent review of my latest collection.