Directory of Lost Causes (By Quentin S. Crisp)

The Age of Consent

I'm slightly drunk now, so probably not in the right state to be articulate. Anyway, I was in a pub this evening and went to the toilet, and, as I stood in front of the urinal, I read the writing on the condom vending machine. I hope you'll appreciate that, although I very much wanted to, I thought people around me might think me strange if I actually took the writing down in my notebook. As a result, I probably can't reproduce it verbatim, but the slogan on the machine was something like this:

Before you insert, make sure you get a definite yes.

Below this was some slightly smaller writing (only very slightly smaller), warning that sex without consent can result in prison sentences. At the very bottom was another slogan, in yet smaller writing, to the effect that, If you don't get a yes/Don't have sex.

There was also a website address, which was: http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/

Am I the only person who finds this totally fucking imbecilic?

How many people honestly go to the trouble to get a definite verbal yes before they have sex? And should it be in writing?