Directory of Lost Causes (By Quentin S. Crisp)

Spooky Kabuki in Susuki

Well, I'm going to leave the bio-ethics theme for a while and probably come back to it later.

I am currently writing a novel called Susuki, which is the sequel to my forthcoming novella, Shrike. Shrike is to be released by PS Publishing in mid-2008. Unfortunately, the fact that Susuki is a sequel to Shrike does not guarantee its publication. Publishing is an incredibly precarious and dilatory business, which, if you are prone to feelings of anxiety and suspense, can become a kind of water torture. I suppose that you probably don't have such problems getting things published if you're not actually a writer, by which I mean, if you're a celebrity. Apparently the novel Crystal by 'glamour model' Katie Price has "outsold the entire Booker shortlist combined". My source for this information is The Observer, which gives a facetious list of ways to write a blockbuster a la Katie Price:

Don't read books. It's a waste of time. Katie Price admits that she doesn't bother with fiction. Or non-fiction, for that matter. Although occasionally, she might dip into a bit of 'true crime'.

Employ a ghostwriter. Only losers write their own books. But make sure that you don't give them any credit or mention their name. A former journalist called Rebecca Farnworth is the actual 'Katie Price' in question and has, so far, written two autobiographies and two novels, with another autobiography and two further novels on the way.

Etcetera.

In this way the whole publishing industry becomes enslaved to people who don't care about literature or books. Do Katie Price's 'readers' actually read books? I doubt it very much. It's as if some conservationist body were somehow hijacked by golfers who decided the best way to save the rainforest was to turn it into a huge golf course. It's as if I managed to buy a football team and decided that it would be a vast improvement to the game if the players stopped kicking some stupid ball around and instead trained to become kabuki actors, giving performances of famous kabuki plays every time they came out onto the pitch (actually that would be great). It is the death of books, on which theme I might write more later. (I would like to add here that while previously I was quite indifferent to Katie Price, now I am more biased towards the idea that she should put on any top ten list of Britons who must immediately be assassinated.)

Anyway, on to happier things, to wit, my current novel, Susuki. I'm not going to say what the novel is about, not before the novella to which it is a sequel has even been released. I will say that I probably make greater use of my background in Japanese studies in this novel than in anything I've written previously. I've also had to do more research for this than for anything I've previously written, since there are certain sections that might be called historical. I usually try to avoid research, mainly because I don't have the budget for it. I think it's a fact that few readers grasp that writing a novel is a bit like making a film. If you don't have a big budget, you will be less able to invest in the kind of research that produces a spectacular epic spanning centuries. You will be making a low-budget film with unknown actors, limited sets and locations and so on, and the script and acting had better be pretty good. This is because, if you're not making a lot of money from writing, or you're not independently wealthy, you just don't have the time to do the kind of research you'd like to. The analogy falls down a bit in one conspicuous sense - even an independent, low-budget writer can come up with amazing special effects, and actually often does special effects better than the big studio writers.

This time, however, I have already done a significant amount of research - botanical, meteorological, cultural, literary, historical, etcetera - and intend to do a great deal more. Even if I bankrupt myself doing it, which, believe me, is a distinct possibility. All that despite the fact I cannot hope for a readership the size of that maestro Katie Price. Yes, indeed, only losers write their own books. So, in today's post, I just thought I'd share with you something rather special. It's a piece of research I did that informs one particular paragraph of the novel, and it is in the form of a film clip. This might give you some idea of the kind of things that are preoccupying me in this novel. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy famous onnagata Tamasaburo dancing in the role of Sagi Musume, the Heron Maiden:



You can watch an interview with Tamasaburo here.

Recently, I also discovered this rather interesting thing on the Internet. Writer Yann Martel is sending a book every week to Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, partly, it seems, because he believes that the Canadian government does not sufficiently value culture. Now, if only I could get Katie Price's address, perhaps I could set up a website called, "What is Katie Price reading?" What would be the first volume I sent her, I wonder? Any suggestions?

Labels: kabuki, Katie Price, my latest fucking novel